Gift exchange rules

The gift exchange party is the most common way to share gifts among groups of family and friends. These events are held during various holiday celebrations and for office parties, family and class reunions.

The most common and popular gift exchange is the Secret Santa gift swap game. The Secret Santa is primarily used to exchange gifts directly from one person to another.  This activity is akin to the standard name draw exchange that many groups use to establish the rules of gift purchasing among groups during important life events. But before we move into the rules of Secret Santa we will start with the most common rules of all gift exchange games, parties or events:

The Name Draw or Drawing Name Exchange

The name draw style gift exchange is used as a means to save money among members of various sized groups. Rather than purchasing a gift for everyone, the name draw system randomly parses out the gift purchasing responsibly evenly between each member of the group.  This helps with the gift giving budget because each person only purchase one gift for one person in the group.

The main rule of the name draw is that all members of the groups put their name into a common holding area.  This holding devise could be a hat, or a box, or a bucket.  Newer online versions of the name draw exchange uses an electronic mimic of the hat using special randomizing name drawing software.  Instead of names written on slips of paper, the group adds the names electronically on a website. Here is a fun site the shows a virtual hand going into the hat and pulling out a name.  The online party version of these name draw systems can really be described as a fun generator for any name draw exchange.

There are several online name draw sites that will help simplify your name drawing and simple gift exchanging events. Here are some links to those that we found in a quick Google search for Name Drawing, Secret Santa Name Generator and Random Name Draw Generator:

Name drawing .com

Draw names .com

Virtual name draw .com

Sneaky santa .com

Boggol drawing names .com

Boogspace secret santa name picker .com

You can use many of these simple and free online tools to randomly select the names for your name drawing events and never draw names from a hat again. No matter what name holding devise that you use, the rules for the gift exchange remain the same; one name drawn for each potential gift to be shared, so that everyone gets a gift.

The Secret Santa Gift Exchange or Secret Kris Kringle

The next level up from the family gift name draw is an group gift exchange activity known as the Secret Santa Exchange or in some other parts of the world, the Kris Kringle Gift Exchange. As we mentioned before, the Secret Santa is the most used style of gift exchange in the world.

The main difference between a standard name draw gift exchange and a Secret Santa exchange is the idea of secrecy. In a Secret Santa event the members of the group draw names just like any name draw activity, but you don’t share who you are purchasing a gift for. The internet also provides a few online secret Santa organizer sites that can help put the party together. We have listed a few of them here for you to explore:

Secret Santa Organizer .com

Elfster Secret Santa .com

Secret Santa .com

Sly Santa .com

Secret Gift .com

Evite Secret Santa

Kris Kringle gift exchange

NOTE: the Kris Kringle gift exchange is popular in the UK and Australia.

The secret Santa gift exchange follows the same rules as the regular name draw, so there is one gift per each person in the group. The parings are selected randomly from all members of a group and there is still the expectation that each person will purchase and deliver a gift to another person. The unique rule in a secret Santa event is that the random name selection is secretive.  There are version of the secret Santa that involve providing clues as to how the shoppers are, with guessing and questioning opportunities provided to ad to the fun.  Some secret Santa exchanges use the rule that no gift can be shared until a certain date and time. This is usually a rule when the gift exchange is a part of a group party of other event.

Gift Exchange games that involve random gift swapping

The most complicated set of rules for gift exchange activities are associated with gift swapping parties.  The most common of these swap or “stealing” gift  parties is the White Elephant gift exchange party, but there are at least 22 other party games that use the same basic rules. Here is a list of the various titles of gift swapping parties:

Yankee Swap

Scottish Gift Exchange

Chinese Gift Exchange

Chinese Christmas

Thieving Elves

Dirty Santa

Thieving Secret Santa

Rob Your Neighbor

Dirty Christmas

Pollyanna Swap

Cajun Christmas

Devil’s Santa

California Swap

Steal-a-Thon

Snatchy Christmas Rat

Gift Grab

Cutthroat Christmas

Nasty Christmas

Redneck Santa

Rob a Santa

Grinch Exchange

The Grinch Game

No matter the name, the rules follow a basic format and require each members attendance at a group event or party activity. There is even an online white elephant gift party called AlbinoPhant, that also uses these same basic rules of play:

White Elephant Gift Exchange common rules

All invitees to the party must purchase a gift for sharing. The gift should be something that all would find interesting or unique, because nobody knows which gift will eventually be going home with which person. Unusual gifts are great for these gift swap parties because they really help get the conversation going and make the party more interesting.

Gifts at the White Elephant party are required to be wrapped so that the contents will be a surprise when it is opened. There should be no identifying marks on the gift so that the purchaser remains anonymous to the other attendees at the gift exchange event.

The game begins with a random name draw for all those in attendance, in order to select the first player.  From this point the game allows gifts to be opened and to be “stolen” , which is the term used to describe the gift swapping rule of the game.  Any gift that is opened can be stolen on any players turn. Another basic rule concerning stealing is a restriction that stops any player from stealing-back a gift that was just stolen from them.  The final common rule of the game is that once a gift has been held by 3 people it is “frozen” from the stealing process for the rest of the game. This rule does not apply in the case of a white elephant gift exchange game titled Commando, where stealing is allowed up until the end of the game, no matter how many times the gift goes around the room.

One final rule that is common in these white elephant style events is the “first shall be last” rule.  This rule says that the first person that opens a gift is given the last chance to exchange any gift that is not frozen.  This rule is used to reduce the possibility of the first person missing out on all of the action, if nobody every steals their gift.  There is a school of thought that suggests that this rule is lame, so you can make the decision to use it or not.

There you have it… The most common rules of the Gift Exchange, from simple name draws to complicated gift stealing exchanges.  You can find very complete details of the rules for each of the exchange activities here on this site.

If you have any thoughts, additions, corrections or suggestions, please add them here in the comment box.

Have a great time at your group gift exchange party and remember to play by the rules!

I was interested in a list published by David Berkowitz in the Social Media Insider. It was titled: Ten Ways Social Media Changed Our Thinking in 2009.
His list includes several trends, but I focused on two that are of particular interest to me…

Gifts and Gaming.

David is the Senior Director of Emerging Media & Innovation at 360i, and he has his hand on the pulse of many growing trends in this space.  His success depends on spotting emerging business concepts, and he has selected Gift Giving and Games for his top 10 list.

David and I agree that these two trends are emerging, but real gifts and traditional games are already merging on social media platforms.  This work is in its infancy, and even David doesn’t really know all that is happening, but the foundations for gift-giving and games as a monetization strategy are being laid.

In the list under Gift-Giving, David discusses the Facebook “Real Gift” application and states; “Today, those goods (gifts) are provided through the Real Gifts application. Tomorrow, it may well be Amazon”.

I am here to say that tomorrow is here now, with the release of a demonstration party called AlbinoPhant.  Each of the real gifts offered in the AlbinoPhant markets are from Amazon.  Today,  any Facebook user can purchase a real gift through Amazon and share it with friends and family using a traditional party game.

Speaking of games:  The post goes on to discuss Games as an exploding social phenomenon and suggests that
“…there’s room for new thinking on what a successful game is”.

The most popular gift-giving game in the real world is the Swap. Gift swap games are used by families and friends to share gifts during important life events . The process to convert successful party games into online social experiences is currently in the demonstration phase. These new online party systems will facilitate the sharing of the real presents in a fun and engaging way that fits within the format of social networks.

Plans are underway to move many more traditional party games into these social networks and to allow families and friends the opportunity to share real gifts with each other, using online merchants like Amazon.

I thank David for his list, and suggest that he is not alone in spotting important trends and advancing the social web.

Thanks to the Burned out Social Worker for the image

Gift exchange parties are social events that focus on sharing gifts with family and friends and then “stealing” them from one another, while enjoying friendly banter in an organized party game.

This year you can take the friendly thievery online with a new Facebook application called AlbinoPhant, the online white elephant party. www.albinophant.com is a mimic of the traditional gift exchange party in many ways, and in some ways, it breaks new ground.

Participants receive several benefits from all the stealing that goes on in these parties by provide the opportunity to socialize and to share gifts with each other. The online version also provides the sharing of real gifts, the stealing of the gifts and great conversation on a special game play page.

With the enhanced sharing tools on the web, the online version allows more expressive conversation than ever before. A steady stream of AlbinoPhant comments allows party participants the opportunity to post YouTube videos and images to assist in participating in the fun. There are even opportunities to share some of the conversation outside of the party in other social networks, allowing the party atmosphere to spill over in other corners of the web.

These social events are some of the most popular gathering and gift-giving activities in the US and Canada. The challenge with the traditional format is that all the participants need to attend in one place to make the party work. With the online party, anyone can be a participant in the event as long as they have access to an Internet connection.

The AlbinoPhant gift exchange is a labor of love by the Christensen family. They have used the online gift swap to stay connected with their scattered family members for several years. Sarah Christensen, a mother of five and grandmother of seven shares her love of the game by commenting, “When our youngest left home three years ago, we missed our family gift exchange party so much we started doing our exchange online.” And Bruce Christensen added this comment, “We visited more in 19-days while we were playing than we do all year, because of this party”. Their entire family loves this game and is thrilled to share it with others at this time.

The Christensen’s hired a team of Facebook developers and other web professionals to take their simple family party and turn it into a fully operational Facebook application. Now they want to share it with others.

So go ahead and break the 8th Commandment without guilt… Join in the fun by stealing gifts in a white elephant gift exchange, by playing AlbinoPhant, online this year. There are no confessions necessary!

Hosted on line

McMinnville — The social networks can now be used for friendly larceny, with the launch of an online white elephant gift exchange party called AlbinoPhant.

This Facebook application allows family and friends the opportunity to party together in a virtual gift exchange, just like they would if gathered together in one location. They exchange real gifts, share friendly banter and enjoy the holiday spirit, through the online party.

Gift exchange parties are social events that focus on sharing gifts with family and friends and then “stealing” gifts from one another in an organized party game

AlbinoPhant brings people together to participate in the party on a common game-play page, where wrapped gifts are displayed, opened, stolen and where comments are shared. This application facilitates gift giving among those who would be sharing gifts with each other anyway. AlbinoPhant just provides a fun, conversational and social way to pass out the gifts.

Traditional white elephant parties build lively conversation and great stories around the gifts as they are opened. With the enhanced sharing tools on the web, the online version allows more expressive conversation than ever before. The AlbinoPhant comment stream allows party participants the opportunity to post YouTube videos and images to assist in making the exchange party a real fun game. There are even opportunities to share some of the conversation outside of the party in other social networks, allowing the party atmosphere to spill over in other corners of the web.

The online white elephant party uses a combination of eCommerce and social networking tools to build the party system. AlbinoPhant is a gift purchasing and sharing facilitator, displaying hundreds of Amazon items in level pricing markets for convenient shopping. The host and each party participant use these single pricing markets ($15 to $50) to select gifts for the party. This leveling feature is used to keep the gift spending closer to equal among all of the players, reducing the “big-spender/cheap-skate” issues.

When all of the gifts are virtually wrapped, opened, discussed, stolen and re-stolen, the game ends. The application’s management system then sorts out who gets which real gift and sees that each present is delivered to the correct address.

The online gift exchange is a labor of love by the Christensen family, who are new to Facebook application development. The Christensen’s have tested the online gift swap party with their scattered family members for several years. They hired a team of Facebook developers and other web professionals to take their simple family party exchange and turn it into a fully operational Facebook application. Now they are eager to share this fun exchange, AlbinoPhant, with others.

This holiday season the networks will play host to thousands of gift thieves and promote friendly banter to liven up holiday parties. What is more social than a lively party?